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From: AtlantaSistah@aol.com Posted: Aug-23-2000 6:50 amMsg: 1FD3
Subject: [Sistahtalk] Determining Domestic Violence
Checklist Items for Determining Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is abusive behavior - emotional, psychological, physical,
or sexual - that one person in an intimate relationship uses in order to
control the other. Most domestic violence is committed against women by
their
male partners or ex-partners. It also occurs in
lesbian and gay relationships and is common in teenage dating
relationships.
In a small number of cases, men are abused by female partners. The following
checklist may help you decide if you or someone you know is being abused.

1. Does your partner:
..constantly criticize you or your abilities as a spouse or a
partner, parent or employee?

2. ...behave in an overprotective manner or become extremely jealous?

3. ...threaten to hurt you, your children, pets, family members, friends or
himself?

4. ...prevent you from seeing family and friends?

5. ...get suddenly angry or lose his temper?

6. ...destroy personal property or throw things around?

7. ...deny you access to family assets like bank accounts, credit cards,
ATM
card, car, or control all finances and force you to account for what you
spend?

8. ...use intimidation or manipulation to control you or the
children?

9. ...hit, punch, slap, kick, shove, choke or bite you?

10. ...make you have sex when you don't want to or do things sexually that
you don't want to?

If you've answered "yes" to any of these questions, you may be a
victim
of domestic violence. You are not to blame and you are not alone. Not all
acts of domestic violence are violations of the law. But in any case, you
need not face domestic violence alone. You deserve help, and help is
available through the local police
department, the court system, and shelters. There are advocates in almost
every community that will help you with the legal and psychological support
you need.

About the Submitter:
Submitted by Carmen Stine, PhD(c), who can be reached at
coach@welcometoyourlife.com, or visited on the web at
http://wwww.welcometoyourlife.com




Updated: 08-23-2000 19:13:30